The panic attacks I called love
by inspiration04
Summary: Is love supposed to hurt?
1. Chapter 1

There he was...

His ocean blue eyes glistened in the strip of moonlight that was shining through my curtains. His fingers on my hips left a burning sensation on my sunkissed skin. I smiled at the thought that bruises would be left there as memory of this moment.

This was it, we were finally doing this.

"Don't worry" he said "take your time". To this I simply responded with a smile and nod of agreement. His voice was kind and soft and his smile, oh...that smile is what got me into this in the first place.

As I lowered onto him we became one. There was no more me and him, we were now us.

I felt pain at first but one look at him and I felt nothing. The speed started to build up and so did the satisfaction. Having sex is one thing but doing it with the person that you're in love with. That's a different type of feeling.

He said that I was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. That's the first time anyone's ever said that to me. He praised me like I was a godess. Normally I would argue with him about how i'm not but I was way to focused on riding him to argue with him.

As the pleasure grew so did my moans. I couldn't help but scream, each scream louder than the one before. To which he replied "That's it babygirl. you're doing good." His husky voice inching me closer and closer towards the edge. Seeking some sort of balance I placed my hands on his chest and my burning lips on his. Our tongues were greeting each other in the most sublte yet best way.

I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears and my body burned all over. My body was giving out slowly as I ourged it to keep up its rythm. I guess he could tell that I was giving out because he simply told me "I love you Betty."

With that I was done, my legs trembled. One last expression of pleasure left my mouth. As he came I heard my name whispered out of his mouth. I felt my body fall on top of his and to that he reacted by holding me tighter to his warmth. He pushed my hair behind my ear and told me exactly what I wanted to hear.

"Betty..." his voice cracked. I quickly rose myself up off him and locked down at him, meeting his eyes with mine. "Yea" I responded. "I hope you can forgive me for everything that i've done. I never meant to-" I saw a lonsome tear roll down his cheek. I quickly wiped it away and smiled at him. Grabbing his face in my hands, I forced our mouths to meet once more. As My lips left his I simply said "I love you Jug and I can't stay mad at someone I love."

The rest of that night was a blur.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning...

As my eyes started to open I could feel the summer sun blazing against my skin. I grabbed my sheets and pulled them over my head in hope that the sunlight would somehow dissapear, but it didn't. I pulled the covers off of my body and strecthed like I normally do. Except this time I turned to my left to see if he was there...but he wasn't.

I got up and started to call out, I told myself not to freak out. "jackson?" no reply, "Jackson? Are you here?" still no answer. I walked through the whole house and he was nowhere to be seen. All of my insecurities came rushing back to me. Suddenly, to top it all off I remebered that I was standing fully naked in the middle of my living room.

I sprinted into my room as fast as I could. ' Maybe he just got busy' I told myself, 'Or maybe his dad called him to the shop?'. Deep down inside I knew what was going on but I put that feeling aside.

'I should probably go take a shower?...' I said to myself.

I walked to my shower and turned on the water. It was so hot that it almost burned my skin but I liked the pain. I looked down and saw the bruises that I was looking forward to yesterday. Being in the shower brought back a lot of me and jacksons memories together. The way he touched me. All of our hook ups the past coupke of months. The way he teased me till I would finally give in. The way he could leave me wanting more of something I didn't even know I needed. He wasn't just something I wanted, he was something that I needed.

As I hopped out of the shower I heard my phone ring.

It was Jug...

"Hey Betts... I don't know if you've caught up with what's going on or if you're even awake yet. But I think we should take a break. I thought that I wanted to be with you but after last night I realized that I only loved the idea of being with you. I loved the pure idea of you...not you. I hope you can understand what i'm saying. :( Move on Sky, Honestly..."

My heart sunk to the bottom of my chest...

My vision started to blur and I knew what was going to happen next. I quietly sobbed to myself...

'What the fuck were you thinking Betty.'


End file.
